2019-03-13 / Editorial

’TIS THE SEASON

Diana Royal

(I think we could all use this reminder.)

There's a meme circling the internet with Liam Neeson holding a telephone and saying, "I don't know who got me sick. But I will find you. And I will kill you." (If you don't know what a meme is - it's a popular photo or video that's been somewhat altered to create a sort of humorous sentiment. If you don't know who Liam Neeson is - I'm sorry.)

This particular meme really made me chuckle when I ran across it. Not that I'd actually consider murder, but I believe we've all been victim of the germ-spreader. If you're a parent, I'd bet money your child has.

Now the human race is supposed to be highly intelligence, but man are we stupid sometimes, especially when it comes to illness. We ignore the obvious lessons we learned as youth: Don't drink after people. Wash your hands. Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. And adults ignore the most obvious of all: Don't go to work and/or send your child to school if you are contagious. Granted, there are occasions when we are contagious and unaware, before the symptoms set in, but for the love of God what else does a 102-degree temperature, the chills and green snot pouring out your head indicate?

STAY HOME!

I've had friends who'll load their sick children up with Tylenol and Dimetapp and send them off to daycare or school and justify so by saying, "I can't afford to miss work. Hopefully they'll be okay."

So you can't afford to miss work, but it's okay to create an epidemic and force countless other folks to endure medical expenses and possible lost wages? How about the fact that you're making your children's illnesses worse by not allowing them to get the adequate rest and fluids their bodies need? Children are warriors when it comes to playtime. They'll fight sleep; they'll fight sickness; they'll fight their own mamas for fear of missing out.

I have 37 bottles of hand sanitizer strategically placed at home, work, in my car and on my daughter. I avoid people and places as much as possible, but that's kind of difficult sometimes given my job. I could fight through fatigue right now, as long as I could bring a blanket for the icy breeze that seems to run through my veins, but I've got a fever. Rest assured, I am not delivering these germs to Shadrack Street. Just a few days ago, I was happily bragging to a friend how I've managed to avoid the flu.

In researching the nasty virus for a story this week, I've come across loads of statistics and medical advice. Combining what I've read and what I know, I'd like to offer a few pointers myself.

 It's no surprise public restrooms are not the cleanest or most sanitary. Don't touch the doorknob/door. Don't touch the water spigot or dryer or the flusher. Use your foot or a piece of tissue when necessary. (Carry extra tissues for this purpose.)

 Practice public restroom habits at home for two reasons: 1. They will become more routine the more often you do them. 2. You never know how sanitary the people you live with are. Better to be safe than sick.

 Actually, don't touch any doorknobs/doors.

 If you do touch something nasty, don't put your fingers in your mouth or eyes.

 Drink orange juice. But don't drink from a water fountain.

 Proceed with caution when it comes to babies and small children. They're cute, but they are a cesspool of disgusting things I don't even want to mention. Avoid them at all costs if eyes are red-rimmed or noses are runny.

 Take your dern shoes off at home. There are germs on the bottoms of them.

 Lysol. Bleach. Pray. Repeat.

 Speaking of prayer: God is happy when you come to church. He's not going to mind if you don't shake everyone's hand.

 This bears repeating: If you're ill, stay home. Germs are invisible and we are playing offense and defense in the fight against them.

"I don't know who got me sick. But I will find you ..." Y'all know the rest.

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