2018-04-11 / News


Martha Chalker

Martha Chalker is a life and business coach with over 20 years of experience. She can be reached at 706-564-4458.

What words do you find yourself using each day with yourself and with others? I think we all can remember the people who affected us in life as children. The adults who had the most positive influence on what we believed we could do used phrases like: You can accomplish anything you want if you are willing to work for it, don’t ever give up on your dreams and I will support you and work with you to help you achieve your goals.

On the other hand, I believe some of us may have also heard comments that were not so supportive. What in the world are you thinking, you can’t do that because……or you will never amount to anything as long as you stay in this town or that one. These attitudes just bring you down and hold you back from what you may really want in life.

Dr. Karen Osburn, Canadian Coach and podcaster of Women Wanting More (don’t go there if you are offended by foul language) identifies the seven deadliest words you are telling yourself as (Maybe I’m Not Supposed to Do This)! If you have identified some project you feel passionate about or want to become a lawyer or establish a new career in real estate or any other lofty goal you have to stay positive and committed. If you do big things, you will get resistance (so expect it). And definitely be aware of the words you use. You want to make sure your language brings you closer to what you want (succeeding, accomplishing and positive contribution) and away from what you don’t want, ( failing to achieve your goals, fear, hesitation or friction at work and/or at home).

I wish I could afford the classes, I really don’t have the time, I’m too shy or anxious to do the work. I can’t stand her, who does she think she is? I’ll have to stay away because of them. These are all phrases that will sabotage and dis-empower you. Maybe I’ll try again next year! Maybe I’m not suppose to do this!

When at home, pay attention to the words you use with family members. Is it so you to say something like, “Am I the only one who can see the dang trash needs to be taken out”? or “Why in the world haven’t you cleaned up this mess”? and “ I’ve told you a hundred times not to leave your clothes in the dryer for someone else to have to see about’! Improving the mood at home can be as easy as changing this language to “ Honey, could you please take the trash out”? or “Here kiddo, you need to fold and put away these clothes”.

Take a look at the words you use in the next 24 hours and journal about this experience. Did the language you use bring you closer to your goal? Did they affect the atmosphere at home? Were they positive, encouraging to yourself and others? Were they upbeat, moving you forward on a productive and happy path for not only you, but those around you?

What is your insight after journaling plus what is the action step you want to take from this? Play with your words this week and purposely observe the benefits! I PROMISE YOU WILL SEE A CHANGE!!!

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