Best of the Blotter 2007

The following are some of our readers' favorite "From the Blotter" entries from 2007.

Not your average Cupid

A Valentine's Day thief tried to pedal away with more than $100 in merchandise, but the helium balloons that trailed him were spotted by police.

According to a report filed at the Waynesboro Police Department, Norris Washington, 43, allegedly helped himself to two Valentine bear baskets and a Bratz doll that were inside a florist delivery vehicle.

He nearly made his getaway on bicycle, but as he was turning onto Quaker Road, the stolen helium-filled balloons caught the eye of Lt. Mary Bennett who was four blocks away.

Washington abandoned his Valentine's loot and ran, but police found him holed up in a vacant house on West Ninth Street.

He was charged with entering an auto and willfully obstructing or hindering a law enforcement officer.

Where's my beer?

An intoxicated man may have been the culprit behind his own missing beer.

Deputies responded to River Road in reference to a stolen 12- pack of beer.

According to the report, the man said he had been in his yard drinking and that someone stole his beer. Officers advised him to check the area to make sure he hadn't drunk it himself.

Getting the message

A Waynesboro man called deputies after his wife began receiving lewd photos on her cell phone.

According to a report filed at the sheriff's office, she received six photographs of an unknown man, including a nude close-up.

The deputy left a message on the caller's voicemail, advising him to stop sending messages and to double-check the cell number of the intended receiver.

Super Sonic surprise

A bag of "animal waste" and hair was left at a drive-in restaurant.

According to police, an employee who'd come to pick up his last paycheck dropped the plastic bag from his vehicle when he left.

The bag also contained his Sonic uniform.

Brain on drugs

A Wallace Street resident called police after he was beaten and robbed by an acquaintance.

The 48-year-old victim was reportedly walking down the street in the wee hours when the acquaintance pulled up and asked him to join him for a ride "around the circle."

The victim told police he got scared and decided to jump out and run home. The driver allegedly caught up with him and hit him on the face several times before emptying his pockets.

After reviewing their files, police realized the victim had contacted them the day prior to report having trouble with someone.

He'd told them a man named Mario gave him bad dope and was trying to make him pay for it, the police report said. The victim had refused to do so, on principle.

Go to sleep!

A Waynesboro woman called the sheriff's office because her husband wouldn't stop talking.

The woman said her husband was intoxicated and talking so loudly that she couldn't sleep. She told officers he had not harmed her and that she just wanted him to be quiet. He agreed to sleep in the camper trailer in the back yard.

A,B,C,D,E,F,Geez

A North Augusta man was introduced to the Burke County Jail after police found him stumbling around his parked car in the middle of Liberty Street.

According to the report, officers noticed a strong smell and asked Hugh Douglas Murray, 44, how much he'd had to drink - to which he answered, "a lot."

He also did poorly on his field sobriety test, reciting the alphabet as "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,S,I,T … and a bunch of all that stuff … and like that."

Officers asked Murray to perform some simple balance tests but abruptly ended them for fear he'd fall down and hurt himself.

When placed under arrest, Murray reportedly became upset, telling police they couldn't touch him without the presence of an FBI agent. He also insisted that several dignitaries be called to the scene but was unable to provide any of their phone numbers.

After telling officers they'd best have other jobs lined up "when the dust settled," Murray was booked into jail on charges of public drunkenness and violation of the Georgia Open Container Law.

By-poler

A Burke County woman who reported a hit and run was arrested when deputies went to her house to assess the damage.

Peggy Jones, 42, had told deputies someone hit her car while it was broken down along Hwy. 80.

She was charged with false report of a crime when officers noticed a damaged wooden pole in front of her house and a piece of wood stuck in her car door.

Electrick

Deputies are trying to sort out a fight involving a couple, a neighbor and a tampered power box.

The confusion started when officers were called to a Highway 56 trailer park where a Planters Electric employee discovered that the couple was stealing power.

According to the employee, the power had been illegally hooked back up after it was cut off for non-payment.

The homeowner gave the employee his neighbor's name and said he'd done it against their wishes.

Deputies were called again three hours later when the neighbor allegedly began beating the couple for trying to get him in trouble.

He told officers the woman had agreed to have sex with him in exchange for showing them how to turn the power back on.

After a tutorial, the homeowner was sent to the liquor store while the woman stayed home and made good on her promise, the neighbor said, adding that he'd never actually touched the power box.

Due to conflicting stories, both parties were advised of warrant procedures.

Inflation?

A Waynesboro man told police that his drug dealer upped the price of cocaine.

According to a report filed at the Waynesboro Police Department, the victim said he bought $80 worth of cocaine "on credit."

The dealer allegedly came to his residence to collect but walked away empty handed after a cousin told him the victim wasn't home. The dealer did leave a message for the victim, however, letting him know that the price was now $220 and that he'd be killed if he didn't pay.

Police talked to the victim about the dangers of using drugs before transporting him back home.

Lost spirits

Deputies were dispatched to Highway 23 near Girard after receiving reports of a barefoot woman cursing at passing vehicles.

It didn't take long to find her.

Around 6:30 p.m., they spotted two women "staggering and slurring" in front of a nearby residence.

The homeowner told officers the pair had been drinking heavily and cursing in front of small children.

The women were told to go inside and sleep it off. That strategy seemed to be working - that is, until the homeowner asked officers to empty the liquor bottle in the front yard.

When the reporting officer started pouring, one of the offenders started cursing at him and her mother while the children looked on, the report said.

After a brief struggle, Patricia Nicole Muns, 24, was jailed for disorderly conduct.

Love hurts

An Augusta man came to Waynesboro with loving on his mind, but ended up with an aching in his head.

The man told police he met a Waynesboro woman on a chat line and agreed to visit her here for an afternoon rendezvous.

The couple was in an upstairs bedroom when another man, claiming to be the woman's boyfriend, rushed in and threatened to "shoot (the Augusta man) in the head."

The boyfriend allegedly hit him in the head with a pistol before stealing $50 from his pants pocket.

The Augusta man was ordered to leave and continued to get hit in the head as he tried to walk down the stairs in his underwear, the report said.

The woman and her sister retrieved the man's clothes for him, and he called police after dressing inside his car and driving to McDonald's.