PARENTAL GUIDANCE
Steven Rice

Heaven knows that today's movies are violent. If a movie is to gross more than 10 million it has to have heads cut off and/or

blood hitting the camera lens not to mention scanty clad females whose birthday suits seem to do little to further the plot.

Violence in film and television is a real problem and not many dispute the graphic content, but have you seen Donald Duck recently?

When I was little, I remember my uncle always had four or five Beta tapes of Donald Duck and the Three Stooges to keep his two nephews occupied when we paid a visit.

I grew up on Tom and Jerry, Chip and

Dale, Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Larry, Moe, and Curly. But now that I have a rug rat of my own and I am revisiting these movies, I've got to tell you, I'm a bit surprised!

I'm not railing against Walt Disney, but watch a Donald Duck short when you get a chance. Typically Donald has some battle with an insect, a bee or a worm.

There is one episode where Donald is redecorating his home and a bee minding his own business sees Donald's new red flower wallpaper and mistakes them for the real thing. After a few failed attempts at pollinating the paper, Donald decides to have a little fun with this creature, to which (not to ruin the story), Donald and the bee exchange would-be fatal blows to the head, heinie (yes that's how you spell it), and home.

Who can forget the time that a colony of ants tried to ruin Donald's picnic? That'll fetch an R rating today.

And then there's the episode when Donald called Daisy "toots" (and I'm not sure if that is how you spell it). I will only write "toots," I'm actually afraid to say that word out loud.

What about the Three Stooges? If I had a nickel every time Moe slapped Larry and poked Curly in the eyes, Bill Gates would be cutting my grass (I bet he'd have a pretty cool lawnmower, though).

Did you see the episode when Moe put Curly's head into a letterpress? As parents we try to keep our children away from any unhealthy influence. But for whatever reason, we have always loved sex and violence, both of which appear in movies rated A to Z.

Well, actually movies that are rated from G to R, but you get the picture. I'm not one to advocate throwing away the television or even throwing away Donald Duck.

I actually like Donald Duck. But there needs to be some human adult telling a human child that a two-dimensional duck squishing a two-dimensional cricket is not real life.

In real life that sort of behavior is not to be tolerated. And I don't think telling our children this will make them "soft" or unprepared for life ahead of them.

But I do think not telling them opens the door for them to act like Donald, Goofy, Mickey, Minnie, Tom, Jerry, Chip and Dale. In other words, like animals.